


Ocean Blue

by rowaann



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Drug Use, F/F, Highschool AU, Human AU, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, abuse mention, alcohol mention, drug mention, its hard to explain but lapis has tattoos for every time she gets hurt, past abusive relationships, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 00:54:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9212390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowaann/pseuds/rowaann
Summary: Lapis Lazuli was always a more popular highschooler; although it didn't mean anything to her. She'd never had a good past, and every time that somebody pointed it out, or something happen to her, there would be a blue mark that appeared on her skin. A bruise? It turned into a blue mark that curled down her arm; and it doesn't stop from there. Everyone thinks that its just a tattoo, but Lazuli knows that its not, and something is probably going horribly wrong.





	

**Author's Note:**

> boy okay but this is my first fic that ive been extremely motivated for!! so,, i hope you like it!!

chool was a place Lazuli didn't want to be. It was a place of constant hatred; & that messed with someone who was already messed up. Of course, she went for her friends, Jasper & Peridot, maybe some other people. But they were all distant, nobody truly knew what went on at home. Her mother; a drug abuser that was never home, & when she was, she beat Lapis for "being a mistake." Her father, a person who never cared for her, & was always with other females other than his wife. So Lapis was a teenager on her own, almost eighteen.

She didn't expect anything, because she never got anything for her birthday. As much as she wanted something, she would never get it. Happiness came in small doses, even if it concluded ending up in the hospital because of an alcohol overdose, or getting high at the back of the school with Jasper. & even though she had made so many mistakes that may have ruined her life, it was a bittersweet love that she adored.

Now, as she looked at her appearance in the mirror, she saw the blue marks curling from her neck & around her arms. She traced each & everyone one of them, wandering what they were for. Maybe it was for the mistakes she had made, or the things that she had done. It was simply a reminder of the time that Jasper had beat her, or the time her mother had pushed her against the wall for the fiftieth time.

There was a blue teardrop that the marks ranged from, & honestly Lapis had never had a tattoo. It had just appeared one day, or perhaps it was from when she was born. She didn't know. Blue eyes met the same ones in the mirror, a smile curving on lips that were bitten & bloody to ultimate hell. So many lips had touched her own, but the ones she loved most were the one Jaspers' had touched. She loved the heartbeat that Jasper gave her, making her feel alive.

A tanktop was pulled over a skinny body that was hidden with rippling muscles; one that weren't prominent like Jaspers but more subtle & hauntingly beautiful. Jeans moved over skinny legs, shoes slipped on pretty feet. Eyes blinked as they looked down at the simplistic outfit. Perhaps she should go to school today, instead of skipping. Her stomach fluttered with the thought of seeing Jasper, even though they had ended their relationship a long time ago. But lingering feelings had never diminished or even faded; instead only growing stronger for the buff bodybuilder.

Hands tugged at the backpack that bit into her beautiful skin; it was too old to be carried around & yet her family was much too poor to afford anything else. It wasn't that she wanted to carry the ragged thing around. Eyes that contained a tint of sadness brushed over the rugged appearance, she closed her eyes, eyelashes pressing against soft, porcelain cheeks. She could feel her heart beating under her skin, perhaps the anxiety of going to school to face those. It had been a full week since she had been there, after all.

Footsteps carried the blue-haired female out the door, making sure that they were pattered against the wet cement. It smelled like rain, something that the female loved most. It made her feel at home, just like when Jasper & her had gone to the beach for one of their dates, it had smelled like salt & rain. Eyes moved to the cloudy sky; & in a way, her blue eyes reflected the clouded sky, a constant storm that boiled inside her. 

When she arrived at school, she was more or less soaking wet. She didn't care, because there was a smile upon her lips that brought joy to any one that managed to catch it. "Hey Lazuli," a masculine with a feminine undertone said; turning, she saw the one person that made her heart pitter-patter in a caged chest.

"Jasper! You're actually here today, huh?" She couldn't help the undertone of laughter that taunted the taller female. Lapis may have had long legs & stood at almost 5'10" (which was tall for her school) but Jasper was a good 6'3", which was almost several inches taller than her. She loved that about Jasper, though, simply because she could reach up & kiss the female. Only when Jasper felt like it, of course, which wasn't often, but their little affairs were more rough than love-filled. 

But when it came to Peridot, she was more gentle & more outwardly cold. But the tiny nerd had a special place in Lapis' heart. 

"Yeah, whatever, swim nerd. What do you want to do? Skip class? Go to a party? Crash one? What's on yer mind today, hmm?" 

"Maybe we shouldn't skip today. Its raining & I'm super wet. I'm not in the mood."

Lapis was not able to realize that it was Jasper that was a toxin in her life. Maybe it was the blindness of intoxication, or the impossibility that Jasper would be the one to hurt her. Sure, she had thrown her across the room a few times, slammed her against a wall, & punched her a few times. There was nothing wrong with that, because Lapis was convinced that Jasper loved her, & she wasn't going to give that up. 

When hands grabbed at her wrists, & hot breath touched her lips; she gasped at the sudden contact. It was surprising, especially since Jasper hadn't touched her like this since they'd broken up. As early as it was, there were still students, so tanned hands pressed against a thick chest & pushed. 

Words were blurred as she watched Jasper wave in front of her eyes, & a growl cut through her haze. She couldn't breath, her chest contracting, each breathe struggling to move in & out from her chest. It was a process, but it was always like this. Jasper had the capability to make her feel so breathless, & yet she couldn't even manage a kiss from her without melting completely; or falling apart. 

" Lapis? You okay? " Hands moved forward to gently cradle her own. Vision cleared for a second, & presented before her was a male; one who had been in her life multiple times before, no matter how many times she pushed him away. But right now, she clung to his hand, her eyes brought to brown ones. She nodded in conformation, mouth unable to form words. Perhaps it was a panic attack that brought her over the edge? She didn't know. 

" Yeah, f-fine. Just uh- a little light-headed. I was sick all week, " what a lie. She was out doing who-knows-what; sleep not an option for the blue-haired female. Late nights sneaking into a pool or crashing at a motel somewhere out of town was regular for her, & often time she just disappeared without any words, but Steven was still there. The boy was a freshmen, & she was a junior, but somehow she had managed to befriend the boy. He was smarter than he put on, which was a shame, simply because somebody so charismatic as him sometimes hung around with the wrong people. 

Like her. 

The words echoed inside her head, gently but slowly pushing into a raging headache. If only she had some painkillers on hand, than that would make everything much easier to handle. But his voice cut through her thoughts, worried & shrill. 

" If you're sure, I just don't want you to be at school if you're not feeling well...besides, I'm sure Garnet would be willing to take you home if you need. "

Gratitude for the smaller boy was bubbling inside her quenching stomach, but it was all going to be alright. She clutched his hand, her cold ones clutching them to her chest. The tiniest of smiles bloomed on her face, lighting up features that were otherwise so dull, less full of life than she was now. Around Steven, she didn't have to fake being happy, instead, he was the one that was making her happy.

Moving his hands so that she could pull him into a hug, she smelled the gentle shampoo of his; the famous one that his mother (Rose Quartz) bought for him all the time. The lady was sweet, & very tall. She inserted a presence that not even Jasper could, & Lapis respected her for that. Not that they talked much, Rose Quartz was a busy woman who ruled CG & Co, the one that almost everyone she knew worked at. 

But to Lapis, getting a job at seventeen was out of the question. She had things to do, maybe not all that important, but the teen wanted to be free, to feel the wind through her hair & feel life to the fullest. 

So pulling away from the hug, she smiled once again for Steven, & walked off, the tingling sensation of platonic love gently burning within her. 

" Lapis! Hey, hey Lapis! Where have you been? "


End file.
